Notwithstanding the fact that we're married, Bostonist does sometimes read the personals. No, no, no, it's not our cheating heart, it's the fact that they're hilarious (and frequently smack of desperation in a way that makes us that much more glad we're out of the game). Usually, since we hate spending money on anything, we're limited to craigslist, and we used to think that was OK. But then we came across this post on Gawker, informing us of the absolute most awesomest personal ad ever in the whole world. And the best part is that although the ad appeared in the New York Review of Books, it was posted by someone in Boston, giving us an excuse to share it with you. Since the NYRB locks its personals behind codes, oaths, and subscriptions, we will reproduce the wonderful missive to would-be paramours for your benefit:

UGLY, OBESE WIDOW, understandably seeks attractive, intelligent man, (65-75). Boston area. Contact: or NYR Box 30005.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.