Bostonist hates to derive mirth from the misfortune of others (well, actually, we don't hate it, but we know it's wrong), but damn, Springfield is a tough town. As evidence we offer a story from yesterday's Globe concerning a melee at a baby shower there. What elements turned the happy family event into an occasion for multiple arrests?
- a five-year-old drinking beer
- a pregnant woman beaten with a large stick
- shots fired, both at the ceiling an into a crowd
- people named Aristotle and Jazz.
(Actually, the names of the people involved probably aren't that relevant, but they are amusing.)

Bostonist thought it was bad when we had to tell certain relatives that they absolutely could not come to our wedding if they insisted on packing heat (really). It didn't even occur to us to forbid large sticks or tipsy toddlers. (And now that we think about it, Mrs. Bostonist's family does have a friend named "Semen," but he wasn't invited to our wedding anyway.)

"A picture involving a drunk toddler and a large stick?" they asked incredulously. "Impossible!" they all declared. They didn't know what Bostonist was made of.