Boston Blotter: This Is Your Brain on – Oh, You Know

--Funny, we were just talking about drunken parking and driving. Maybe someone should have taken the keys, called a cab, and taken a stand against Revere City Councilor Mark Casella, who plowed into his neighbor's parked car early yesterday morning.

Fox 25 played the phone call from the neighbor to the police, and the exchange between the neighbor and dispatcher was priceless. You really should listen to it, but, when asked who hit his car, the neighbor replied, "Guess." The dispatcher said he wasn't a mind reader, but he was floored when he found out the culprit was Councilor Casella.

Casella didn't just hit the neighbor's car. The Herald interviewed the neighbor's wife, who said, "[Casella] pushed the car 40 feet."

There had been a city council meeting earlier in the evening. Maybe the events that transpired in said meeting drove Councilor Casella to the bottle. But the call to the police was the only funny part – Casella cut his forehead so badly that he left what the Herald called a "foot-wide pool of blood" in front of his home. Here's hoping he gets help - He's been in trouble for drunk driving before.

--In non-booze cruises, remember the guy who stole the tow truck yesterday morning and went on a mission of destruction? The Globe had the full story. Turns out that the alleged cretin took advantage of a tow truck driver who made a Dunkin' Donuts run and left his keys in the ignition.

His not-quite joyride – which witnesses estimated at 70 miles per hour in the city, per the Globe - resulted in a laundry list of charges: "assault with intent to murder, assault with a dangerous weapon, and motor vehicle larceny." It should come as no surprise that this individual will undergo a psychological evaluation.

--With all this ruckus going on, we barely have room to mention the former undertaker who kept a weapons stash in his home in Salisbury and at his parents' funeral home in Lawrence.

All charges alleged until proven under law.