Sports Redux: The Evil Empire Just Got 40% Eviler

It's on. The Yankees announced today that Roger Clemens (left, lying down) has consented to spend weekends and holidays in the Bronx this year, for a princely sum of roughly $28 million. The Red Sox apparently made Clemens an offer, but the idea of bookending his career in Boston and accumulating major karma points apparently wasn't worth the millions that Steinbrenner presumably overbid.

Bostonist never was quite sure how we felt about the idea of Clemens coming back here; obviously we're willing to forgive and forget - well, forgive, anyway - but it's not all that easy to mop up all the bad blood that's been spilled in the relationship since Roger bolted town in '96. Now he's cemented his reputation 'round these parts as a soulless mercenary, which is definitely easier for all of us than having mixed emotions.

One place we would not have wanted to be this afternoon would be standing between Dan Shaughnessy and his laptop; his column of regurgitated history, which might be of interest to someone who's recently arrived in Boston from Uzbekistan, was online before the ink on Roger's contract was dry. (Correction: Dan waited until Curt Schilling pronounced, "We don't need him", so he could remind us one more time what a "blowhard" Curt is.)

But enough about that. You go to war with the Red Sox you have, not the Red Sox you're not sure whether or not you wish you had. The hometown nine survived a rocky seventh inning and hung on to beat the Twins 4-3. Schilling was in firm control until then, and was helped out by some well-balanced offense. Papelbon came in to nail it down and collect his tenth save. The Sox will take Monday to get through Customs and start a three-game set in Toronto Tuesday night, with Josh Beckett going against the hapless Victor Zambrano (Toronto is 1-6 in his starts.)

The Chicago Fire are undefeated no more. The Revolution welcomed them to Foxboro, then sent them home with a 3-1 loss. Jeff Larentowicz, Steve Ralston and Wells Thompson notched the three New England goals. The Revs now trail Kansas City by only one point in the East on the strength of their five-game unbeaten streak.

Only one team in the Winter Sports Postseason Elimination Derby got sent packing Sunday, and it was the New York Rangers, sent home by Buffalo 5-4. Which means, once the NBA trophy and the Stanley Cup are handed out, 26 straight titles in the four major sports will have been won by teams not from New York. Of course, you'd have to be remarkably petty and vindictive to keep track of something like that. So here we are.

Mr. and Mrs. Clemens photo from SI, via Deadspin.